


Childhood's End?

by Lionessinthedark



Series: Star Trek into darkness.....a bit different [20]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Khan is not a bad guy after all, M/M, Minor Character Death, Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 04:13:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4465052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionessinthedark/pseuds/Lionessinthedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Khan travels through the Galaxy....for 18 years.......the end is near....</p><p>Remember: Khan felt so strange after having been in that Limbo, that he called himself “Noonien” since he saw no reason for calling himself by a title when he was nothing more than a slave again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

Prologue: 18 years in 824 words

“The Plan” that Noonien was ordered to follow by the presence in his head, was to contaminate as many planets as possible the next 18 years. The contamination would be vira with small amounts of DNA, which slowly would alter the inhabitants...the humanoids... of the Galaxy. The majority of the “Old Ones”...the “Founders” .......had left their bodies millions of years ago and were now electromagnetic waves and thus immortal.

They wanted their offspring....all the humanoids in the Galaxy...... to follow and be immortal too as they had seen a major threat against the life in the Galaxy in the future and the vira would accelerate the process of leaving bodies behind. Being bound to vira the contamination would spread throughout the Galaxy as long as humanoids would meet or just as long that goods were traded. 

The vira were being even more conterminous than the common cold from Earth. Thus making the transformation possible in about 20 years instead of 5-10 generations. The children born after the contamination of their planets would be able to make that transformation leaving the older members of their species behind. 

The “Old Ones” arrogantly called themselves “a version 2.0” and the humanoids only “a version 1.0”. They acknowledged that Noonien was more than that and he wondered if they expected him to be flattered......what he indeed was not! His “son”...his offspring..... “They” called him “a true version 2.0” and Noonien could feel their pride....

Noonien just felt that it was creepy to have a clone of himself walking around, but as he discovered as he returned to New Vulcan every 2nd year or so, that his “son” turned out to be rather different from himself. And of course he would be that....made without Noonien’s flaws and failures....but then again it was somewhat disturbing to look at him and think: “That is what I would have been if I hadn’t been abused and tortured”. To have a “mirror” like that is not healthy for the mind!   
His “son” was the only one who turned out to be like him. All the other clones that the Betazoids had made were the browner version of him.....and an examination of their DNA revealed indeed that only the first clone came close to him.

Spock Prime and Sarek gave him company during a lot of those travels in a very small and very advanced spaceship. It could be flown by a single man and sometimes Noonien would be alone....but not for long. He sometimes was accompanied by other Vulcans, but it was only Sarek and Spock Prime that knew about “The Plan”. 

The others just believed that Noonien was a very adventurous man. Every now and then Noonien would return to New Vulcan to visit his “son” and the other augmented children. Both from the Facility and from the growing population of Vulcan/Augments/Humans that lived and prospered on New Vulcan.   
The very strict culture from Vulcan did soften a bit and graduately it reminded more of the ancient Asian cultures that the old Vulcans, who fled from Surak’s philosophy, had made on Earth. Every single more freely raised human on Earth would have found the society profoundly strict and grave and every “old” Vulcans would have found it extremely free and reckless and like that it had found a healthy balance. Only a very few Vulcans tried to maintain the very strict old culture from the original Vulcan, but they were less than 1000 and their young ones chose to leave for the benefit of the new culture.

Neither the crew from the Enterprise nor Noonien saw each other in those 18 years. The USS Enterprise continued her travel through space and the crew loved their captain and was very loyal. Incidents happened and after the 18th year it was a third USS Enterprise that travelled through space...with a new captain.  
Jim and Spock thought that Noonien never would want to see them again and Noonien thought the same about them. The only very small connection they had was through Spock Prime and Sarek but those two kept the contact at a minimum. Spock Prime and Sarek feared that they might reveal something of “The Plan”, so often the contact was not face to face. 

Spock thought that his father had partly rejected him and Jim had quite at job convincing Spock that that was not the case as they still spoke to each other.

As Sarek and Spock Prime died in a stupid and tragic accident in space in the 16th year of The Plan, Noonien lost his only two friends and chose to continue to travel alone. He found it very difficult to continue but the presence in his head would not let him rest and he carried on....even if he sometimes tried to escape. Finally he had contaminated as many planets as possible and now the time was running out for him....Time to visit New Vulcan for the last time....


	2. Chapter 2

Noonien landed his space ship in the harbour on New Vulcan...in a remote corner. Close to the tube-station to the Facility. His thumb’s fingerprints were enough to start the automatic train. He sat down and closed his eyes.....it would be at least 30 minutes even at high speed before he would be there.   
“The Facility”....he hated that name. It reminded him of his childhood...on those god forsaken islands...of the training...of the scientists who didn’t look upon them as children, but something else. Free to torture and abuse. 

Noonien hadn’t even bothered to close off the spaceship or bring anything from the ship. Later today or maybe even tomorrow he wouldn’t need it...he wouldn’t need anything from the ship any more. 18 years of travelling criss-cross the Milky Way. 18 years of following orders from the “Old Ones” and before that? Just following orders from anyone else....And now? Close to the end in more than one way.  
_____________________  
As he arrived at the station there was no one there. Through the years...when he returned every second year or so, it had differed if there would be someone to greet him or not. Today it suited him well that there wasn’t any. He found his way to the tall building. The sun was shining and he could only make out the outline of the man waiting for him. As he came closer he could see him more clearly...and somehow it was like looking into a mirror...and somehow yet not again.

The young man stood nearly 7 ft. tall. His black sleek hair was long and tucked away from his pale face with the high cheekbones and the strange-coloured eyes and the pointy ears.

Noonien stopped and said in his deep voice: “I left a boy nearly 3 years ago...and now I see a man. You look like an elven-prince!”

The young man answered in the same baritone voice: “If I’m a prince, then you are the King, father!”

Noonien made a phff-noice: “I’m not your father...and I’m most certainly no king. I was born as a slave...in a petri-dish. Raised as a slave. I’ve been nothing but a slave...except when I’ve been fool enough to believe that I had any choice or any freedom. I know my place now!”

And he thought to the voice...the presence of the “Old Ones” in his mind - “They” had been there...ordering Noonien around since Noonien’s soul ended up in the “Limbo” after he died on Qo’noS more than 19 years ago: “Please...I’ve done everything you asked. Please leave me alone know. I’ve done my job. He is here. Ready to launch the last part of your plan. You don’t need me any more. Please let go of me....” and as Noonien entered the building together with Kawarda, the name the young man had chosen for himself as he came to New Vulcan nearly 2 years old and had learned his first part of the Vulcan language, Noonien finally couldn’t hear the voices in his head any more.

Kawarda looked at him: “You seem more troubled than usual?”

Noonien: “Well, it is a special day, you know!”

But Kawarda just looked at him. Had the young man really forgotten what would be the next incident according to the Plan?

Kawarda was now standing by the big window at the end of the big room: “Come..and have a look! See the children playing: Humans, Augments and Vulcans together” he said as he turned around and reached for Noonien. And Noonien walked towards him. Passing a table where a prepared meal was waiting.

“The last meal” thought Noonien a bit bitterly, but then again resigned. There was really nothing he could do....he had done his duty. And he was ready.

Noonien looked up in the young man’s face and ignored the view: “As I recall the plan was that you and your brothers should end up having the recorded height of “The Founders”, the “Old Ones”...but you are only about 25 cm’s taller than me?!”

The young man....so much like a young Noonien except from the pointy ears and his height smiled and said: “It would be rather impractical since the majority of the humanoids as maximum is about 7 feet tall. To be much taller than that would make it difficult to use space-ships, sleep in beds and get proper clothing! So....we altered the plan.”

“But...but it would not matter anything in just a few days?!”

Kawarda looked at him, with a frown: “And why would it be of no significance?!”

Noonien looked at him...speechless for a moment. No it couldn’t be....Kawarda had to know. The “Old Ones” in his head had told Noonien that his clone, his offspring, was essential for “The Plan”.

“You are teasing me, right? Trying to lighten the mood. But it is not necessary. I don’t know if ”They” have done something to my brain or it is just my personality. But I’m okay with this. I came here today...the launch-day of “The plan”...well knowing that I cannot be permitted to leave this planet again. The knowledge in my brain and in my soul cannot be allowed to continue in existence. Why have you prepared such a nice meal for me....with all my favourite dishes, if it is not my “last meal”?”

Kawarda looked shocked: “You came here willingly with the knowledge that you would...... die....that I....? That I should kill you?”

“Either you or someone else. You must have known. The “Old Ones” told me that you knew “The Plan”!”

“Oh my god...how stupid of me. I forget that you don’t have “the connection”...not yet anyway. Come sit here in the couch and eat while I explain. And I’m so sorry. But you are so much like me and I forgot....but of course it could have been a bit dangerous if the “Old Ones” knew too early. To put it short: You are not going to die today.....or later in a predictable future.”The Plan” has been altered five years ago.....it had been altered since I was 15 years old!”

Noonien actually did not sit down...no he slumped down. The day had turned out a bit different than he had expected. He had set his mind to death....He was so tired and actually ready for it. He didn’t know if it had been the presence in his mind that had soothed him...but he wasn’t afraid. And he had actually tried to kill himself at several occasions. Or....not exactly “tried” but thought about ending it all by overruling every security protocols in his ship and fly directly in to a sun. But he never got longer down the line than to alter the first of the protocol...and then he sort of got distracted and forgot. Until the next time. He was very well aware that “They” needed him and wouldn’t allow him to commit suicide before it was time and that “They” somehow controlled parts of his mind. He was just a slave again....a puppet on a string, like he had been his whole life.

Kawarda turned against Noonien and reached for Noonien’s hands. Noonien just did let him take them: “I’m going to do something to you, Noonien..... “father”...I’m using that word, because that is how I feel about you...”

Noonien interrupted him: “No...a father is someone who has seen your first steps, has comforted you when you were having bad dreams or had fallen. He is someone who has taken you by your hand and has shown you the wonders of a world and when you got older, the wonders of the Universe. He is not just someone who passes by every second year to say “hello” and then disappears again!”

Kawarda smiled: “You were so much more than just a by-passer. We were told about you when we were younger. What you did, how your life had been. What you did endure to get us all into safety on this planet. We heard about the “Buzzers”...how you and the other old augments fought against them and won. Have you forgotten that your soldiers were living here together with us? That they have told us how you saved them all on the islands more than 300 years ago? We’ve been told about your capture and about Marcus..”

“Who knew about that?!”

“Carol Marcus! And the hidden files that she found in the archive.....”

“Oh”

“Oh father...you’ve been so busy travelling in space following the “Old Ones” orders that you haven’t had time to be on planet’s surfaces to find out that you are a hero and a person from history books!”

Kawarda pointed towards an old-fashioned bookshelf: “we have even printed them on “plastinette” (a sort of paper) to make old-fashioned books and they are on Padds too. There are tales about how USS Enterprise travelled through space and how Jim and Spock and Bones and all the rest of the crew fought and survived and made peace with other civilizations together with you. How you saved them all so many times. How you made peace with the Klingons and died doing that. That you were cloned and brought back...They have even made dolls of you and some persons from the crew, and the first USS Enterprise-ship has been made as a toy. We used to play “Khan and Marcus”, “Khan and the Buzzers”, “Khan and the Klingons” when we were kids and some of the augmented children and the humans and the Vulcan ones were green with envy when I could tell them that you were my father!!”

Noonien laughed: “You are more like “my clone” or “my twin” than my son. Which father can say that his son is more than 99, 99 % him?”

Kawarda smiled: “Yeah but it is easier to say that you are my father!” Then he turned serious and said: “”My plan is so much easier to explain if we “connect”. Would you please let me do that?”

“Is it a mind meld?”

“Something like that...and yet different!”


	3. Chapter 3

Noonien let his hands slip away from Kawarda’s and shook his head: “That is quite an alteration to “Their” Plan. Are you sure that “They´” in any way would allow that....and why haven’t they found out??”

“They can’t.....I’m shielded against them......all the children are too...the contaminated children. It’s only empaths like you, father....... who are unshielded”

“I’m not your father....”

“To me you are....couldn’t you just let it be like that? That is how I feel about you! The things you have done! You have been such an inspiration to me....and my brothers , who even if they are somehow clones of you.....they are somehow not. Only me....and I have found the explanation. “Sleeping”- or “Junk”-DNA. In them ...but not activated like it has been in you and me!”

“Inspiration?!”

“How would I have found the courage, the guts... to fight against the “Old Ones”......that are almost God-like in their power? Who can manipulate people’s minds. How could I have found the courage if it hadn’t been for your battle against the “Buzzers”? Against such an overwhelming superior force? And your fight against slavery and abuse...against Marcus..... despite all odds. You never gave up! You were my inspiration....when you could fight......I should be able to do so too. And I did! I couldn’t reveal it first though.....They had their “tendrils” in your brain....but now....within the 48 hours they will learn that their plan had been altered!”

And Kawarda continued: “They arrogantly called humanoids a “version 1.0” and themselves a “version 2.0” but the truth is that humanoids are more a “version 3.0”. The “Old Ones” made a mistake those many millions of years ago......the same “mistake” Homo Habilis made......not to evolve. Homo Habilis still made the same stone-axes after a million years......didn’t evolve a lot....and what about the “Old Ones”? They haven’t changed in more than 40 million years! Talk about stagnation!! Evolution acquires “flesh” to evolve......DNA-strands....bones.....proteins......cells! The soul needs matter to interact with...and the “Old Ones” are going to learn that within the next 48 hours! We are now enough to make “the connection”......all our brains together.....together and yet individual. Not the dream the “Old Ones“ had....leaving “flesh” behind, but so much better!”

Noonien just looked at him and then he said: “But it will still leave us...the parent-generation....behind!”

“I’m sorry...yes.....but not like “Their” plan. Their plan would have taken the children away...physically too. Mine doesn’t....and you, father, can even be a part of the connection if you want to, some other adults too But yes.....for a while there will be a “you” and “us”. I’m sorry....but the children will still need their parents, and will not leave the Galaxy...not leave their bodies behind to be united with the ”Old Ones”. The development of the“Old Ones” is just as much a “dead end” as the Borg’s ......them being almost computers. It’s a dead end too!”

They sat in silence for a while and then Noonien asked: “What about the threat against the Galaxy....it is still there!”

Kawarda smiled at him: “You said there is no time in that Limbo....and that “They” were there?”

“Yes!”

“I can’t be sure but I think that the threat “They” saw was their own deed! To remove all the children....and leave the parents behind. That would be the end of the Galaxy, wouldn’t it?”

Noonien looked at his “son” and then he nodded: “That could be the explanation, yes”

____________________________

That was not the only surprise for Noonien. Later that day Kawarda turned up in Noonien’s room and said that there was a sort of call for him and handed him the communicator:

It was a rather poorly recording...so no possibility to answer:

“Hello. Jim and Spock here. I hope this recording would reach you Kawarda. We are planning to get to New Vulcan tomorrow afternoon. If you have any possibility to get to your father both Spock and I have something for him. Something very important. Important enough, I hope, to make him forget his hostility against us and find a way to at least listen to us, even just for a few minutes. You have told us that the time-line for the Plan is coming to an end. I hope that Khan somehow can get out alive on the other side, when all this is over. I would like to ask him something, if it is possible. But by now I don’t have time for more chat. Our ship is waiting. Tomorrow afternoon. Kirk out....”

Kawarda looked at his father. “Is it OK that they are coming?” he asked.

“I have no rights to decide anything here. I’m your guest, Kawarda!” was the answer.

Noonien decided that something he had had in his mind for a long time now could be postponed until Jim and Spock had paid their visit.   
_____________________________

“They are not coming” said Noonien: “It must have been an empty gesture of politeness. And Kawarda...I still have my wish! I’m tired...my soul is more than 300 years old. There is no need for me in this Universe. I’m a person from a history book and I must remain that. Having two of me will only disturb the path of history. Will you fulfil my wish?”

“As much as it torments me, father, I have no right to hinder it. I have said what I wanted to say to you: that you are of great importance, ............that I’m going to miss you. But I have nothing to say over you and if it is your wish, I must obey!” And he bowed his head and kissed Noonien on his forehead:” I’ve arranged everything according to your wish, father! Behind the building! Go with peace!”

Kawada had tears in his eyes as he saw his father leave......but it was Noonien’s decision and he was allowed to make that. And the worst part was that Kawarda understood him completely.....his father being so utterly alone in the universe.....and Kawarda could not be enough....he knew and understood that it tormented Noonien to see him....what he could have been if his creators had not been that cruel....and stupid. To have a “mirror” like that to show you what could have been.....that is not healthy for the mind.

_____________________

Spock and Jim hurried towards the building. Damn that delay.....and that they couldn’t get a message through about unforeseen circumstances and that they would arrive 10 hours later than promised.  
When they stumbled up the stairs they met Kawarda...he just looked at them with that look that Khan sometimes had used...distant and a bit cold.....but they both knew that that was the “I’m feeling much too much to cope right now”-face......very similar to Spock’s expressions.

“You are a bit late” he said.

“Yeah” said Jim: “and we were unable to get a message through.....we’ve just been beamed down a few seconds ago!”

“Beamed?!” said Kawarda: “but that is rather risky surrounded by so much shielding-equipment right here!”

“Yeah....but Spock insisted!”

And the latter stood perfectly still and then it was just like back on the USS Enterprise as Jim died: a roar of KHAAAAAAAAAN! came out of Spock’s mouth and he started running just like then with long efficient running strides through the building and to the other side of the building where he slid down on his knees with a “NOOOOOO!” as he saw the kneeling figure and the sun glistening in the blade of the sword on its way down towards Khan’s neck in slow motion. 

In that moment Spock closed his eyes and only heard the *clonk* as the sword came in contact with the block and what else it must have slid through before that.......and it was like that Jim found him seconds later as he panting came running up to him. Finally Spock had given up all his control...and for the first time he openly showed the depth of his feelings. He folded himself totally together, curled himself up to a ball and openly cried and moaned. Jim looked disturbed at the shivering mess in his arms and had not eyes for anything else. The rest of the world was frozen in that moment.....


	4. Chapter 4

The executioner was happy that he had been able to twist his wrists so much that he had only given the man with the head on the block a involuntarily light haircut instead of beheading him. He scabbarded his sword......happy that he had followed Kawarda’s order: “Miss! I’ll at least give my father time to change his mind in the last fraction of a second!”

A voice came through to Spock...a familiar voice.....a deep vibrating baritone: “Forgive me!.....I thought.....I would never have thought.......you hated me?!......But......”

And a hand touched Spock’s arm.......and Spock saw and felt a lot of emotions, but since when had Khan....no.... “Noonien”.... been a touch telepath?!

Slowly Spock calmed down and gathered himself together even if he remained sitting on the ground: “My deepest apology for my behaviour....” he began to say but Noonien just looked at him and said: “No reason for that. I’m so sorry too. I didn’t realize that......”

And Jim interrupted with a: “Hey....what happened? I’m not quite up to date here!”  
__________________________

Later the three of them sat on the sofa, emotionally exhausted, and looked at some servants who removed the remnants of the earlier meal and brought some new supplies.

Noonien turned to them and said: “I really thought that you were just polite against a former enemy and I had no idea that I still meant a lot to you. I thought honestly that you hated me!”

And he continued: “especially since I was that cruel against you at the assembly 18 years ago....and since I never heard a word from you!”

Spock looked at him and the reached out for Noonien’s hand and felt his confusion, his regret and under all that his love for Spock and said: “And I thought honestly that you could not handle to look or talk to someone who had let you down so many times!”

“And Spock Prime and Sarek made it clear that we couldn’t contact you!” said Jim.

“That were their exact words?!” asked Noonien.

Jim looked astonished at Noonien as he......about 18 years too late realized what they had said and he slowly said: “They emphasised that you could not contact us in any way, as it might jeopardize our lives and that we could not TALK to you or TOUCH you for the same reason!”

“But you could have written...”

Spock said: “And we never thought of it.......I’m......we are terribly sorry......”

And Jim put in: “and the fact that you didn’t contact us in any way emphasised our wrong assumptions further. Oh my....we have really fucked things up this time......I hope that you would be able to forgive us somehow....even if especially I don’t deserve it! We came to learn why you had done as you had when we recently, only three days ago, received a message that had been sent just before Sarek and Spock Prime died!”

Noonien looked astonished: “But....but.... how!? They were incinerated as their chip burned up in the atmosphere on that abandoned mining-planet?!”

“Yeah....they were, but they managed to send down a probe....to the surface....just before they shut down the oxygen. They preferred to suffocate rather than to be burned alive. The probe was found only a month ago and we got its content only 3 days ago......and that made us realize something!”

“And that was when you stopped hating me?”

Jim reached out for Noonien’s hand and he felt his confusion as Jim said: “I stopped hating you many years ago. In fact I stopped hating you just before you left with Prince Krell. I was just so ashamed that I had let you down for the umpteenth time.....When you made that speech and dismissed us all except from Sarek and Spock Prime.....we chose again to listen to the words.......the lies....... and chose again to believe that you were a cold calculating bastard! Again we forgot YOU.......and only remembered the words”

And Spock interrupted: “And when we then wanted to contact you, my former self and my father warned us! And we misunderstood the warning!”

That was the time where Kawarda entered the room.

Noonien looked up: “Is everything running according to the Plan?”

Kawarda smiled back: “Just running excellent.........and forgive me, father, for not following your death-wish. I ordered the executioner to miss as I hoped that you in the moment of death would regret...”

Noonien smiled a little sad smile: “I think it was Spock’s “No” that brought me back to my senses. I have a suspicion that that death-wish was the last “farewell” from the “Old Ones” in my brain...”

Spock looked at Noonien and said: “Or maybe it was just like when a dictator loosens his firm grip on his people just a little bit.....and then comes the revolution.....the hope for freedom. And the ultimate freedom would be death, right. So when “They” left you....when you had your freedom...you wanted to be totally free?”

Noonien looked between Jim and Spock and asked teasingly: “What have you done to the real Spock, Jim? He breaks down by the sight of me being decapitated; he says “I’m sorry” and he explains psychological mechanisms in my brain and in the heads of a suppressed people?”

Spock looked a bit offended: “That I do not shown feelings that often doesn’t indicate that I do not feel them, it is just.....”

Noonien touched his hand: “I know Spock.....I’m just teasing a bit.....I’m ever so grateful that you made me come to my senses!”

And again...as they touched they could feel the other’s sincerity and concern.  
__________________________

They watched the message from Spock Prime and Sarek together. Of course Jim and Spock had seen and heard it together before...but they would like to see it again. The pictures were blurred and the sound wobbling. First Sarek:

“We have given up hope now. There is only one possibility to avoid being burned up alive...and that is to end our lives before this vessel enters the atmosphere. The planet is abandoned so there is no hope of help from them and our ship is barely alive by now. Only the most basic functions are still working. Both the crew and Spock and I have agreed on shutting down the oxygen. And the only thing I have to regret is that we’ll leave Noonien alone.  
He most certainly doesn’t deserve that. If this should reach you, Jim and Spock before the final part of The Plan is launched, we can’t tell you that much. Just that Noonien had sacrificed everything...again....to keep you safe. If you’ll ever get the opportunity to talk to him again...and if you still hold grudges against him...then forget your animosity and believe our words: he did what he had to do to keep you safe. Even giving up his love for you and pay the price of utter loneliness. Forgive him and tell him that you love him....for that is what we hope you still do! But we had to choose and the choice wasn’t that difficult: either leave that great and courageous man alone...or leave you, who are grown men and who have a lot of friends. I hope that you’ll understand our choice.

Now to you my son: don’t you ever believe that I’m not proud of you and that I do not love you! I’m so very proud of what you have achieved despite everything. I’ll have to admit that I sometimes regret that I brought you to Vulcan and expected you to be the perfect Vulcan son. You could have had an easier childhood at Earth. You have always thought that it was your human nature that gave you trouble with your emotions.  
But it is your Vulcan nature...the very deep emotions......and unfortunately you have only the human tools to control them. That you’ve managed despite that only shows how incredible you are! I’m so proud of you.....especially as you turned down the offer of joining the Academy and let those old, stubborn and arrogant Vulcan members of the Council have it good and strong!! And you Jim. Don’t you ever think that I do not admire you and despite what I have said before...I’m so proud that you are my son’s T’hy’la. Live long and prosper....”

And now Spock Prime spoke: “First of all. If this in any way might reach you, Noonien or rather “Khan Noonien Singh”......then first my deepest apology for causing you so much pain, because I confused you with the Khan from my universe. A monstrous Khan I hated with all my force...and yet an evil Khan..... that I in the lights of your fate.....have come to realise was partly my doing. If my Jim and I had done our duty, then we wouldn’t have made such a broken and desperate man.  
That my Khan in such an insane way tried to kill us all.....that was partly to blame on me and on Jim. Well maybe not even just “partly” as it was us who left all the augments to face death on that planet in that unstable solar-system.  
What I find even more unforgivably is that I managed to confuse him with you. I do not know much about that Khan’s earlier fate, only what I read in history-books: that he had been a tyrant, but admittedly a more merciful one and that he had to flee after the eugenic wars. But I can’t imagine that he would have had such an ill fate like yours. Universes can’t be that cruel twice!  
And yet....despite all the pain I’ve caused you with my too hasty words, you did ask me to be your friend....and I have to say, that I’ve never met a greater man than you, Noonien. Never. What you have achieved. You have saved billions of lives and have always been prepared to sacrifice yourself. Without you the Galaxy would have been in a much worse state. I’m so proud that you have chosen me to be your friend...and it has been worth every sacrifice from my side.

To you, my younger self and to you Jim I’ll only say. You are not at all like me Spock....you are so much a greater, braver, more excellent Vulcan than I’ll ever be. You have faced so much more trouble in your short life already than I have in my long life. I’m not sure that I could have stayed as whole and unharmed as you. 

And as for you Jim. I said that you are not at all like the Jim I knew....and yet. He faced a lot of bad things in his life....some of them together with me. But he experienced them as an adult as you had a lot of things thrown in your face even before you reached puberty.....and you still managed to be an excellent captain. Doing so much right....saving millions of lives....even more than Pike challenged you to do ......saving more lives than your father ever managed to do and that despite not having an undisturbed childhood. I think that my Jim would have been a broken man if he had lived your life. So you are so much more than him! You have earned my deepest respect!

We are running out of time.....the oxygen level is declining and the co2 level is increasing....it is getting harder to breath........live long and prosper....we love you!”

And that was the last of the recording.

Jim turned his head towards Noonien: “That is why we contacted you.....wanted to visit....wanted to be your friends again.......Wanted to ask you to forgive us....and almost came too late!”

Noonien shook his head: “I’m not sure that I deserve those nice words. I’ve just been a puppet on a string....a slave.....my whole life. It has been nice those brief moments where I had an illusion of freedom...but I’ve been nothing but a slave......and my doings? I think the Galaxy would have been a better place without me!”

Spock and Jim looked at him and both shook their heads and it was Jim who spoke: “How can you say that! You are the single most important person we have ever known. A lot of things would have gone so wrong if you hadn’t been there!”

Noonien gave a little huff and said: “It is nice of you to say so, but it is a lie!”

Jim smiled at him and said: “Would you listen to me without interrupting me? Then I’ll explain!”

Noonien smiled: “Go on! But you can’t make me think otherwise. I know my place. The “Old Ones” knew exactly how to find an obedient servant....I’ve been nothing else! And I really think that the Galaxy could have been a better place if I had just died on those abandoned islands at the age of 15 or if I hadn’t been made at all. If none of us augments had been made!”

“Shut up and listen!” was the answer to that.  
And Jim continued: “You know I’m very fond of old films....especially old Christmas movies and somehow it is often those which survived the eugenic wars, where so much was destroyed. One I especially was very fond of was an old American one called “It’s a wonderful life” from 1946 about a man who thinks he is a failure. Some money had been stolen and a really bad guy tries to ruin everything for our hero. He is standing on a bridge and contemplates about ending his life. Then another man jumps into the river and our hero...George Bailey...rescues him and it turns out that the man is an angel sent to save him but George doesn’t understand a word and says that he is such a failure that the city would be a much better place if he hadn’t been born at all.  
And then the angel shows him how the city would be if he hadn’t been born: a lot of people would have died because George would not have saved his brother who later prevented a train-crash. The bad guy would have made the city a very unhappy place and George’s wife would never have married. So it turns out that George had made that city a lot better to live in.  
It is the same with you, Noonien. Without your heroic fight against the Buzzers, who might have eradicated us, the Council wouldn’t have noticed us......we would still be in the “nursing room”...avoided by all the other races.  
Your species’ sacrifices and suffering in the labs eradicated a lot of terrible diseases....  
Without the eugenic wars humans would still have fought against each other and might have started an atomic war. A way a lot of races had ended even before they even reached space.  
Marcus’ doings against you and your people caught the Councils attention. And the Starfleet Federation had to reconsider their own doings and make precautions against abuse of power so no one ever would be able to seize so much power as Marcus had again.  
You saved a lot of lives as we travelled through space....including me countless of times.  
You revealed the conspiracy between the Klingon emperor and Marcus.  
You found and destroyed a madman on Motaka who could have threatened the peace between the Dominion and us.  
You stopped the war and prevented genocide against the Klingons.  
You showed the Vulcans the dangers of the Katric Arks and finally you have prevented the “Old Ones” from ruining the Galaxy! That is how important you are!”

“No....” Noonien shook his head: “Let’s just play the game of “What if”. If the humans had not made us augments, the Council would in time have prevented the Buzzers to reach us. The other races knew about warp and would have stopped the Buzzers in time.  
The eugenic war did cost millions of lives......and humanity would have united anyway...the discovery of the “Buzzers” would have forced that.  
I admit that the augmented biology made it possible to treat a lot of diseases, but I’m sure that you would have managed anyway. You did eradicate a lot of diseases even before augments were made.  
When Marcus found me and forced me to make weapons, he gained the opportunity to make a war. Without me he would never have tried!  
I saved a lot of lives on board your ship, captain. But before that, I killed a lot of people: in London and in the Daystrom-room and in San Francisco. They wouldn’t have died if I hadn’t been there.  
I killed that man on Motaka, but without my nano-robots he was just a pathetic sick man with an absurd dream.  
And the “Old Ones” would never have had a tool to fulfil their insane plan if it hadn’t been for me.......so...so much for your analyses, Captain James Tiberius Kirk!”

Spock had been listening while those two men spoke and now he made his remarks: “Jim forgot the embryos that could have been found by mistake and misused....Noonien, you forgot that the Council didn’t lift a finger against the Buzzers when they attacked those two Klingon planets.  
The Eugenic wars prevented with a probability of 90% the humanity to blow themselves to pieces or destroying the environment so much that the eco-system would have collapsed, thus only leaving a 10% probability of their civilization to survive.  
25 million deaths because of the eugenic war was a small price to pay for that survival.  
Marcus was so keen on that war even before he found you, that he would have tried anyway......and it was only you who were able to see his treason and were able to stop him. As you know....later analyses of his whole warmongering and misuse of power totally pardoned you of any accusations against you!  
Jim’s analyse of your importance is by my calculations correct.  
This Galaxy would have been in a far worse state if it hadn’t been for you...and Kawarda...who in fact is you...somehow. Kawarda, who had managed to alter the “Old Ones” plans, wouldn’t have been her if it hadn’t been for you.  
Half of the population here on New Vulcan would not have been here...if it hadn’t been for you. The old Vulcans would stubbornly have made a society so stuck in an old mindset, that we would have been extinct in a very short time! Without you and your “son” there wouldn’t have been a future for Vulcans or the Galaxy! Don’t you dare to say that you are of no importance!”

They sat in silence for a while and then Noonien said: “I still disagree.....but my opinion is of no importance. I have no right to dictate how you should feel.”

Jim looked at him and said: “What happened to that BAMF Khan I once knew? The one who never gave up his fight against Marcus...yeah.. even the one who never gave up on the abandoned islands when he was 15? The man who against all odds fought against the Buzzers and won. The man who persuaded me to investigate about and find the Vengeance. The man who kept on fighting for his freedom and most important for the freedom of his people.......the “I-am-better-at-everything-Khan”?”

Noonien just looked at Jim: “He was an illusion......a role put on to be able to find the strength to fight!”

Jim shook his head: “No....I’m not buying that. Right now you might be bend because of the prior presence in your mind....a lesser man would have gone insane....But don’t you tell me that that young admiral that fought the Buzzers wasn’t a BAMF......don’t tell me that the man in the brig on the USS Enterprise wasn’t a BAMF because he made me believe in him.....even if I betrayed you shortly after....out of fear and out of regarding my crew far more important than yours. And out of not knowing the depth of Marcus’ evilness and devotion to war disregarding any decency.  
Don’t tell me that that Khan wasn’t a BAMF as we travelled through space and you saved a lot of people and don’t you dare to tell me that that Khan wasn’t a BAMF as he together with Krell and less than 200 Klingons managed to put Krell on the Emperors throne. I know that we are not talking about the same body.....but we sure as hell are talking about the same soul!!!”

Noonien looked at Jim and asked almost angrily: “Why is it so important to you? I’m a broken man...yes I’m broken...not only bend! I look at Kawarda and see greatness, confidence, courage.....qualities that I maybe once had....but that I do not longer possess....And I question the reasons why I should continue my existence. You said that you wanted my friendship.....but I’m not sure that you want me. Is it the glossy picture that you have turned me into in your mind after having been apart from me for 18 years that you want as your friend....or is it the real Khan Noonien Singh....the broken man?”

Spock had left as Jim and Noonien had spoken and now he returned together with Kawarda. He turned against Noonien and said: “I’ve got an idea.....you, Noonien, seem only to be a shadow of the man I fought against on Earth so many years ago and the man I travelled with for almost 3 years on the USS Enterprise. So I’ve got a suspicion. Is it OK if I follow up upon that?”

Noonien looked at his “son” and at Spock and nodded: “It is OK”

Spock turned against Kawarda: “You have an eidetic memory...even if you were only about 2 years old as you saw Noonien the first time. Recall.....over the years.....has he changed?”

Kawarda sat down and closed his eyes. He was silent for a few minutes as the other 3 men looked at him and finally he opened his eyes: “As I recall it, Noonien...my father.....seemed younger....undefeated.......more confident when I was younger. But isn’t it due to me being inexperienced?”

Spock shook his head: “No.....and it only emphasises my suspicion. Would you allow me to scan your mind?” 

Kawarda nodded and Spock reached for Kawarda’s head.

The two men sat for a while and then Spock loosened his grip and said: “Now you Noonien, please”

Noonien sat down in front of Spock and closed his eyes. What Spock intended to do could do no harm, he thought.  
After a few minutes Spock opened his eyes and spoke: “It is as I suspected. You...Noonien .....have something in your mind.....something like the Orion slave-torq...something making you content with being a slave. Something the old Khan almost never would allow himself to be called and only had said, but never felt, about himself when he told about his childhood and youth on the islands back on Earth.....and something you only called yourself after you returned from that Limbo! I should have guessed it then! But it is something that has developed over the years. If it had been too obvious from the beginning, we would have noticed. But after not having seen you for 18 years the change is clear.”

“And what can I use that knowledge to....that the “Old Ones” turned me into an obedient slave? It still works...I can’t even bother to worry about it!” said Noonien.

Jim, Kawarda and Spock looked at each other....yes something was obviously wrong!

“We could always travel to Betazed....” said Jim and suddenly there was a glimpse of the old Khan as he said: “No way!!!! I made a solemn oath that I never would set my foot on that planet again...never!!!”

Spock looked at Noonien: “I can try.....together with Kawarda.....but I’m inexperienced...”

Noonien looked at him: “And worst case scenario?”

Spock actually smiled: “That you wouldn’t be worse off than you are now!”

Noonien moved so he was facing both men: “Then by all means...proceed!”

Kawarda and Spock both touched Noonien’s face........and the minutes ticked away.

Kawarda and Spock opened their eyes and looked at each other and then they removed their hands from Noonien’s face.

He opened his eyes....looked at both men...the young one looking so much like him and the Vulcan-Human-hybrid who apparently hadn’t aged much over the last 18 years.

“It didn’t work then?” Noonien said.

Spock smiled and said: “We don’t know yet.....but it seems as if the calamity started even before Marcus turned you into an obedient slave!!”

Noonien rose to his feet in one swift and almost predatory movement and clinched his fists and shouted: “I was never, never, NEVER Marcus’ slave!!!!”

Both Jim, Spock and Kawarda looked at each other and smiled back and said: “It worked!!”

Now Spock turned towards Jim and said: “I’ve just got a thought....and Kawarda is that skilled that maybe he and I can solve it together, even if we are inexperienced”

“Solve what?” asked Jim.

“If the “Old Ones” had manipulated you too” was the answer.

“But I’ve never been in that Limbo and....oh......” and Jim came to think that he had been very close to death after having aligned that warp-core so many years ago: “I....I almost died way back then.....but I don’t remember anything about a Limbo....”

Noonien shook his head: “Jim’s three soul-parts were never separated as he was close to death...but maybe it was close enough. It might explain a lot....Even if I think that “They” could manipulate living souls while they were still in bodies as well.”

Jim agreed to the examination and both Spock and Kawarda found traces of something....but they couldn’t find out exactly of what.

Noonien smiled afterwards: “It makes it even easier to forgive you, Jim”

Now Kawarda turned to his father and said: “I have one more confession to make. When we made that connection yesterday I re-opened a possibility in you, father. It had been “coiled up” probably since your childhood. You have done it yourself to protect yourself. But it is not necessary any more and I hope that you’ll forgive me for having done that to you. It makes it possible for you to make a sort of “connection” too....not like the one us younger can make....but sort of”

Noonien looked at his “son” with a sudden understanding: “You made me into a touch-telepath!”

“No father....I didn’t MAKE....I just re-opened. But neither Spock nor I are trained enough to totally repair the damage that have been done to you. We have only soothed it. You’ll have to seek more trained species in that area!”

“NO...I’m never going back to that blasted planet again!!“, Noonien almost shouted.

“For god’s sake...you don’t have to! There are Betazoids here on New Vulcan too. How do you think we manage to keep an eye on the “wrong” versions of augmented children? You’ll just have to agree that they can have a look at you!”

“What for? Ketira told that I was damaged beyond repair!”

“And she was a professional therapist or a priestess?!”

“Isn’t that the same when you are a Betazoid?!”

“Not quite!”


	5. Chapter 5

And that was why Noonien accepted to see the elderly Betazoid therapist. As he had finished his examination he smiled at Noonien, who now insisted on being called Khan again.

“Noonien” was the slave....I’m not that any more” he had said.

“It is not that bad” the Betazoid had said: “you were made for war and are not easily traumatized. The things your own mind had done to protect yourself is not something I can undo.....Your own mind will be able do it over time. But the damage that Marcus and his men had done to you and the damage the “Old ones” have done to you...they are not irreparable. You will just need time...and good friends.”

“But Ketira said that I was harmed beyond repair!?”

“And she saw you right after you had had a new body, had seen yourself as a major threat to your fellow crew-members, after you had tried to kill yourself and while you were undergoing a horrifying mentally and bodily painful treatment, that we now thanks to the Vortas never will have to put others through again. A treatment that re-opened traumatizing memories. Of course your mind was in a terrible state then. And she is a good healer, but not a therapist....and there is a great difference. And she didn’t know augmented mentality like we do here on New Vulcan. Yes...you are damaged and scarred, but in time you’ll get much better!” 

_________________________

Since the last betrayal from the “Old Ones” had been removed...and Khan explained that it wasn’t because the “Old Ones” were cruel...they just had forgotten how it was to be in a body...and maybe “They” even thought “They” had done him a favour, the 4 men needed something to eat again since the last meal again had been untouched.

During the new meal Jim, Spock and Khan wanted to know what the other parts had done in those 18 years they hadn’t been in touch.

Khan told how he had travelled and contaminated as many solar-systems as possible, first following the plan of the “Old Ones” and then later unknowingly the plan that Kawarda and his brothers had made. Khan had travelled without so many dangerous situations except regular encounters with the slave-traders, who often thought that a single human or a human together with only a few passengers and a very nice and advanced ship could be an easy target. They learned by bitter experience that Noonien and his passengers indeed wasn’t an easy target and that Noonien wasn’t human at all.

Jim and Spock had travelled with the original USS Enterprise for 4 years until she had crash-landed on a planet, saving almost the entire crew as the saucer-section safely had made it to the surface.

“It was the very contraption you and Scotty had made, that saved us all!” said Jim.

He and Spock and a rather big part of the original crew had been assigned to the new USS Enterprise.....no longer only a constitution class, but a refitted constitution-class with a much bigger crew and with a lot of elements from Khan’s Vengeance-design.

“Without so much black, though” Jim said with a smile.

They had travelled for 11 years and then Bones, Uhura, Sulu and Chekov had left. Bones and Uhura to live on Earth together, raising their 3 children and Chekov for a high-rank job inside the Federation. He was now the leader of the whole computer-department and was married and had two children. Sulu had been and was still captain of his own ship...the USS Farragut II (the original USS Farragut was destroyed during Nero’s attack) and after a while Jim had been assigned for a job behind a desk on Earth where he should use his skills as a diplomat and be teaching at the Star-fleet Academy as well. In those two years Spock had been captain of the USS Enterprise. And Jim had nearly gone mad.

Then a new ship had been finished...even bigger and more suited to travel for many years....a Galaxy-class.

“Still with a lot of your design from almost 22 years ago, Khan!”

Jim had been temporarily assigned again since the new captain Decker had gone mad after having visited a planet with a lethal pathogen plant. Jim had been on that ship by coincidence together with Spock, but just as passengers. But with their experience from a lot of lethal adventures they prevented a catastrophe and managed to get the ship and the crew back to Earth in one piece. Now the ship had a new captain: a Jean Luc Picard.

And all the time they had been travelling the last 5 years, they had loyally carried Kawarda’s virus to different parts of the galaxy like a lot of other people had done without knowing it.

Khan had looked at Jim and Spock and had asked what they were doing now and Jim showed a very nice ship on his Padd:

“We hoped that we could bribe you!” he said.

“Bribe me?”

“Yeah...into travelling with us....and Scotty. If you have forgiven him. The ship is a beauty and is almost the size of the original USS Enterprise, but can be flown by a single man. A lot of your design is in her. Capable of warp 12 and with a crew of only 75 human and humanoids” Spock told.

Khan looked at the design....she was a beauty...and warp 12...it was tempting. He looked up and smiled: “It is a nice ship for a nice captain!” and handed the Padd back to Jim again.

“Nope!” said Jim, “I’m not the captain.....and Spock is neither.....we told you it was bribery: “Captain Khan” has such a nice touch, don’t you think? And besides.....the captains quarters is rather big....with a very big bed.....if you would be our T’hy’la again. We have missed you!

Khan looked at them....speechless and they saw tears in his eyes again.

“My answer is of course yes, yes and yes! But right now I’m not sure that I should be the captain. It is more than 300 years ago since I last was the head of a lot of people and I’m still damaged. I’ll be satisfied with a job as security officer again” he said and the 3 men hugged each other.

Kawarda looked at his father with a happy smile. Yes it was a much better fate for him than being decapitated. And they should be able to leave within 12 hours. His plan was launched and working right now. His father had so much deserved a happy life....

Kawarda turned around and left the room, showing the servants that they should leave too. The 3 men could use some privacy....

___________________

The tall dark haired young man that almost looked like an elven-prince and who was the one that in time should coordinate all the Dominions, The Federations, the Kingdoms and all the other organisations in the Galaxy together with his brothers, looked up into the sky as he was standing on the stairs to the big building surrounded by his brothers and the other augmented children. The “Plan” was working and the “Old Ones” had been contacted by the combined consciousness that the “connection” could make. Not all of them...only a few millions but it was enough to show their combined strength. The “Old Ones” had realized their defeat and had apparently left the Galaxy. They could not be detected any more.  
Kawarda knew that his father and his old friends were up there somewhere since they hadn’t left New Vulcan yet, but they would leave soon, heading for new adventures and hopefully return regularly to tell about them, making basis for new tales of “Khan’s, Kirk’s and Spock’s adventures”

“Live long and prosper” whispered Kawarda as he turned around to join his people. It was his job to make the Galaxy a safer place now, together with the other younger augments and humans and humanoids. His father had done so much....It was his son’s turn now.

**Author's Note:**

> Recently I have re-read Arthur C. Clarke's “Childhood’s End” and I got this idea.
> 
> Note: I’m not a Trekkie and I’m not sure I’ve got the different races, Empires, Dominions and Federations correct. Not even how they are placed in the Galaxy versus each other.  
> All the stories in my series take place in the Star Trek universe and are in chronological order....in “the alternate reality” and “post Star Trek into Darkness”, except from the first 2 stories and the main point is that Khan Noonien Singh is not a bad guy after all...or is he? Are there hidden agendas somewhere? Khan’s background story differs from the canon, though.  
> And of course I do not own the characters. They belong to Roddenberry in the first place and Paramount in the second.  
> English is not my native tongue so I excuse if there are failures.
> 
> And if not Childhood's End then the end of the series. It is complete.....


End file.
